Two good days.

Well, today started out great, with me in a fabulous ‘go-getter’ mood. I had my walk done by 9 am and I took Rachel to Come and Play, which is her new play group. I got in a wonderful strength workout while she was playing and got to relax in the sauna and in the hottub. Man, only a massage would have been more relaxing. The weight lifting machines were great, but on the fly machine, I was at ten pounds, the very minimum and my arms were shaking. I could barely move it. If there would have been dust on the weight I would have been out of luck. I have no muscles. Yet.

We then went tanning. Rachel does not tan, LOL, I only do 5 minutes. And had lunch out. A subway veggie sub, no cheese or mayo and just vinegar - Chicken Selects for Rachel. The sub artist started loading my sub with oil after I had asked for vinegar only and I asked her, “Is that vinegar?” She said it was, it was still in her hand and I said, “It’s yellow? Is it vinegar or is it oil?” It was oil. Tons of it. I told her that I can’t have oil and she honestly looked at the sub like, “And this is MY problem? Wipe it off!” They made me another sub. It tasted wonderful.

Yesterday, I scheduled two consults yesterday to coincide with my daughter’s visit home with her baby. The doctors are 200 miles away from us, but in a town that I will be driving right past to get Kim and Gage from the airport. I asked my brother to let us stay overnight with him and he sounded less than enthusiastic. Chuck said it would be better to just rent a hotel room.  One of the consults is for the gallbladder, the other is for the tummy tuck. They can do them together and both doctors accept my insurance and will work together to do the gallbladder at the same time.  Now I just have to eat really clean and hope for no more flareups before we can get these done. Fingers crossed…

Yesterday I didn’t post, that’s because Rachel and I went shopping, thanks to Heidi Roizen and Skinny Songs! We first went to the mall, which is about an hour and a half away. I dropped off my wedding and engagement rings to be resized. They are going from a ten to a seven and a half! Would you belive that this was the first time that Rachel was ever in a mall? We spent some quality time in the glass elevator and Rachel saw her first ever toy store. Imagine a whole store devoted to toys! Poor deprived baby girl.

We bought some new panties and a bra from Victoria’s Secret. Then off to Target and I spent $180 on pants, some wonderful tops, a bikini (!) with three mix and match tops and and a beach bag for my work out stuff and a cute clingy black jacket. All in all, I felt like a complete girl, doing what girls do best!

It felt funny saying, “Man, they only have ONE pair of pants in my size!” and that size was medium. Used to be that they only had the smaller sizes and I was still out of luck. I much prefer this problem.

You know, I am fine with my belly if I am dressed, and really my husband and I are the only ones who ever would know what I am dealing with, but when the clothes come off, my inhibitions come up like shutters and I just shut down. I want that to stop. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. Do you know what I mean? Is that bad or should I just suck it up and say I am older now and should just get over it.

Nah.